Christ in me

I cried at church today.

I remembered how I used to dance when I was 5 - and that I feel powerless to do that in church (where it's informal enough to be ok...). I was angry at myself for having no discipline. I was gutted that I looked to others to make my decisions. I was horrified by how deep-down selfish I am. I remembered my worst memories too and I wept.

Poor Chris, who stood by my side to comfort me, sobbing too.

I had asked Matt to pray for me, saying that I simply wanted God, and he began to ask that I would be reassured of how much God loves me. He hit the nail on the head! Always my weakness - believing that I have to earn God's love and that I haven't got it yet. So then I went forward with the altar-call for the chronic conditions.

Superbly, it was miraculous.

Christ in me. I've heard it a hundred times since I was 14 but it only hit home today. Now I believe that the Spirit of Jesus lives inside me. I know it. God help me not to forget it.

Leadership. This Spirit doesn't make you timid. It makes you powerful, discerning, a force of change, loving, carrying the presence of God, and self-disciplined. Jesus is the leader, the author.

The poor. My pains are real, my hurt needs healing. Jesus is the healer. Surely there are people who need Jesus and this is where I am supposed to go. He pressed on my heart, 'I want you to go to where there is need and see my provision for that need.'

If the Spirit of Jesus and I are one, who can stand against us?