Another slow day - this time, after staying up till 3 watching 24 and Louis Theroux with Private Security Companies in Johannesburg. Both were vain attempts to help me sleep. Speed and fun picked up with simple things: revising for exams, playing table football with Adam and hanging out with Claire and Jon. Those were the highlights of my day. I came home in good time so I might spend some time relaxing in the company of my housemates, who were all out. Growing slowly insane, I hit my electric drums extra hard before finding solace in the washing up and then tidying my room, both of which were infinitely more satisfying than any other vain pursuits (read: facebook and email)

Had a couple of revelations today: one, that to love is a far bigger mission than I had previously realised. Jason Upton's Website had a soundbite on unconditional love in creativity. So, if I truly love, then I will do what is better for others - even if I am depreciative of my work. An artist who lives in the Hebrides called Willie Fultononce advised me never to see my work as precious. Perhaps I ought to rethink this...

The other revelation is that while God has made me a bit explosive, some may read impulsive, I feel a bit trapped, a bit stuck, behind a very tall brick wall - like Echo Wall, part of the Heavenly Temple, Beijing (below). If I were trapped, I would place a large quantity of explosives in the middle, where the wall is weakest and furthest from supports, in order to blast a whole through. Perhaps God is calling me to a strategy of daily hole-blasting to find a passage through medical school.